Fang's First Tour
Fang's First Tour: A Report
Dearest Fang Fans!
Fang has triumphantly high-stepped back from its late February tour of Montreal\Ottawa\Carleton Place\Toronto and is now recuperating quietly in a safe Vancouver location. There are stories to tell. Read on for a short photo essay on Fang's First Tour, complete with anecdotal information, documentary fact, and dietary recommendations!
Fang, Historically: Understanding the Contexts of Fang in a post-Fang world
This from Wikipedia: Fang is a punk rock band that originated in 1981. Fang was originally part of the punk rock scene in Berkeley, California in the 1980s. The band broke up in 1989 when key member Sam McBride was sent to prison for killing his girlfriend, Dixie Lee Carney. Upon his release, in 1995, McBride changed his name to Sammytown and reformed Fang.. Their albums include “Rat Music for Rat People,” and “These Boners Be Poppin.”
What? How can this be? Who’s the real Fang?
Fang, WE really are.
In 2009, an alternate current of Fang was brewing in the basement suites and apartments of East Vancouver. Barbara Adler and Ben Brown were spending their Christmas break doing homey things. They got a cat together, roasted fowl, decorated trees, and drank Lambs out of the bottle. Little did they know these domestic meanderings would soon coalesce as the iconic bond that is the center of Vancouver’s premier drum and accordion duo: Fang.
Formed with no knowledge of a pre-existing Californian punk band full of murderers and drug addicts, Adler and Brown’s Fang struts in the face of danger and beatings.
“Yeah? There’s already a punk band named Fang? They date girls named Dixie Lee? They kill people? Yeah? So What.”
Fang doesn’t care if you wear a loin clothe and sing in front of a giant spider web. Plans are in the works for way bigger spider webs, and way smaller loin clothes. Fang doesn’t care that you killed your girlfriend. Well, actually, it really does. Fang is not down with murder. Fang also knows that there are way more punk rock things to do than kill people.
Like Swooning!
Swoon gently, Fang appreciates scenery
Fang arrives in Montreal on February 20th, following a trans-Canada red-eye. After sleeping all day, the band ventures out, only to be punched in the face by the beauty of a Montreal sunset. Tres Punk Rock, non?
Sometimes it feels like the sky is a gigantic beer bottle, smashed against a curb, and brandished at our throats.
Fang Works
Over four days of intensive r
ehearsal, the band solidifies its aesthetic with drummer Ben Brown’s fill-in, James Meger (double bass). Fang is confused by how little its audiences are fazed by the fact that an upright bassist is filling in for a drummer.
Fang wonders if anyone has been reading its many facebook posts. Most audience members seem content that the double bass is very large. Fang is happy to give everyone lots of large bass.
Alert your talent agent, Fang has played shows!
Fang’s first show is in Carleton Place, at CP Cinemas. Youtube footage of this show maybe found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4VKRcZSbng
There are highlights:
- A duo poem is read by Emily and her best friend about their ex-boyfriends. We learn that one of them did not have eye-lashes! Yikes!
- The band meets young Fang fan, Meghen
- Fang begins the strange ritual of photographing the bass and accordion in their cases, and nude. Tour records reveal the existence of dozens of pictures in this genre. What is this? Perhaps Fang is also impressed by how large the bass is. Perhaps Fang just wanted a break from carrying these large instruments, and used “visual art” as a convenient excuse for a rest stop.
Prepare your Massage oils, Fang Aches!
A note on carrying large instruments. Upright basses are big. Accordions are heavy. It would generally be a good idea to know where you’re going before you start walking somewhere with one of these two instruments on your back
Secondary note on carrying large instruments: it’s nice to walk past subway buskers and exchange sad smiles.
Alert the CBC, Fang is a good Canadian
So many punk-shouting-accordion-drum duos today do not appreciate the rights and responsibilities of Canadian citizenship. Not so, Fang. Fang is Vancouver’s first accordion and drums duo to do a tour of the parliament buildings. It matters not that the visit started out as an attempt to find a bathroom. It matters not that the attempts to find a bathroom in our Capital City became a Challenge: What is the fanciest building we can take a dump in?
Fang could have taken a dump in any number of buildings with Neo Gothic turrets, but it selected the parliament buildings. We calmly await the arrival of the bouquets of Official Provincial Flowers, hand-plucked from the Governer General’s hothouses.
Put your hands over your hearts, Fang is non-partisan
Here are photographs of a bunch (two) of the Prime Minister paintings, from several parties. Prime Ministers get to choose their official painter, their costume, and how they will be posed. Fang cannot recall the name of the Gentleman Wearing the Beaver, so we will assume for this point, that he was a Conservative. Fang only wants government officials to work together productively, for a better Canada! Please note that the Trudeau painting was wicked, but since it was appropriately placed in the shadows, the photo didn't come out. Note 1 : It was in the shadows because the painting is bad ass! Trudeau is wearing motorcycle gloves, and has a black coat flung about his shoulders. Yeah! Trudeau plays shaker in Fang! Note 2: This is a gesture of respect. Shaker is hard.
Lay Down Your Social Networking Tools, Fang is the Network!
Following the example of young Fang fan, Megan, audience members at Voices of Venus contributed their artworks to the ongoing online exhibit of Fang-inspired art.
Feed Fang.
Should you ever see any member of Fang loping down the street, twirling their cigarillo, popping their collar, and challenging random thugs to musical fights, please remind them of their other great love: food.
Here are examples of a well-rounded Fang diet.
Note the difference between this last breakfast, and the photographs in which James Meger is wearing a checkered shirt and eating something delicious. For fun, try to guess which photograph was taken in Montreal, and which was taken in Toronto. Just guess. Interesting Cultural Discovery: The jam company, Smuckers, makes a caramel breakfast spread which seems to be distributed solely in Quebec. Caramel for breakfast! Oui!
Fang Does Other Things
To be a member of Fang's touring line up you must have a love of animals, including those species which have not yet been domesticated and those which are actually made out of quilts. Here James Meger demonstrates his ample qualifications.
Fang Appreciates and Loves
Fang appreciates gifts of small cakes and mix tapes! Fang Salutes Stephanie of Ottawa for her offerings of both!
Fang loves to raid your cupboards and get rides from your brother! Fang bum slaps Ken of Lanarck County for both!
Fang adores sleeping late and sucking back grease for breakfast! David Silverberg of Toronto joins Fang as MVP for both!
Fang also thanks Willow Rutherford, Luke Vajsar, Faye Estrella, Danielle K. Lanoire, Ernie, Omar and Ando for invaluable contributions to the tour, life and happiness.
END OF TOUR REPORT
Say Fang. We will come.